Lessons I've Learned as I Navigate my 35th Year
Goodbye 34, Hello 35
After the Candles Burn Out
I used to think birthdays were just about getting older. About growing up.
But lately, they’re starting to feel less like daunting milestones. And rather, a chance to pause, reflect, and ask: what am I ready to carry with me? And what’s finally time to set down?
Turning 35 didn’t come with a tidy list. It came with a deeper knowing. Of how far I’ve come. Of what it took to get here. And of how much life I still want to live.
This past year, I took some of the biggest leaps of my life– like raising capital for a problem most people hadn’t lived, but I knew intimately. I learned how to explain something deeply personal in ways that felt universal. I learned how to back myself when it felt like no one else would.
Somewhere along the way, I stopped waiting for permission and I started doing what felt right.
So to celebrate finally being 35, I’m sharing a few honest reflections as I continue to learn, take leaps, and figure life out in real time.
In case you haven’t heard it this month: it’s never too late to become the version of yourself you’ve always dreamed of.
A Roadmap of the Miles I’ve Traveled
A great life moves in leaps, not steps.
Being “ready” for the next big step is a myth. You’re never fully prepared to leave comfort behind or bet on an idea no one else can see yet. The scariest decisions I’ve made - including calling off a wedding seven years ago or leaving a job I loved to start Allara - also turned out to be the best I’ve ever made. Sometimes you have to take the scary leap out of what you know and bet on your future self.
Failure is a gift.
It’s not just about the fall. It’s about what you choose to do next– stay down or dust yourself off and try again. Failure humbles you. But every time I’ve stumbled, it’s given me a clearer view of who I am and what I’m willing to fight for. And frankly, it’s made the next big leap, and potentially failing from it, less scary.
Conviction will take you further than consensus.
When I started Allara, I had to convince people of a problem they hadn’t personally experienced. That required more than passion– it required data, storytelling, and a whole lot of persistence. I had to learn how to make the invisible, visible.
You have to believe in yourself first.
Doubting yourself is a losing game. I had to ask myself: why would someone bet on me if I wasn’t willing to do the same? Imposter syndrome doesn’t get you funded. And it certainly doesn’t build a company.
Rest is a requirement, not a reward.
Taking care of yourself isn’t something you squeeze in once the work day is done. These days, I treat myself like an athlete would: with intention. That means eating well, sleeping more, going for walks, therapy, and taking breaks when needed.
Your timeline is your own.
Over the years, I’ve learned how to run my own race. When I’m stressing about reaching the next startup milestone, I remind myself: there’s a version of me from five years ago who would be ecstatic knowing I made it this far. And somewhere out there, someone’s wishing they are exactly where I am now. This perspective keeps me grounded.
The person you marry is the most important business decision you’ll make.
Partnership matters. My current partner makes me–and Allara–better and views my dreams as shared dreams. (He’s literally worked countless nights after his work day on things like setting up our office of listening to practice pitches). I don’t think past relationships would’ve created the conditions for this kind of success. It’s not just about romance. It’s about respect, support, and shared ambition.
You’re allowed to change your mind.
About careers, relationships, and dreams. Certainty is comfortable, but growth lies on the other side. Every time I’ve let myself evolve, I’ve found something more fulfilling waiting on the other side.
People want to help. Let them.
Whether it was aksing fellow founders for advice, interviewing strangers on Craigslist about their women’s health journeys, or asking for warm intros to investors– I’ve been reminded that most people do want to see you win. You just have to ask.
Don’t let someone else’s limitations become your ceiling.
Only 2% of venture funding goes to women. I knew that, but I didn’t let it define me. I didn’t just go to women-only funds. I raised from investors (many of them men) who believed in the mission. I didn’t wait for a more “welcoming” environment– I built what needed to exist, alongside people who backed me.
Learn the ropes before building your own ship.
One of the best decisions I ever made was working at a high-growth startup before founding my own. Watching a great founder lead in real time gave me a blueprint. Now, more than ever, I believe in the power of preparation.
I May Not Have a List of 35 Lessons- But I Have These.
The kind of lessons that you acquire through lived experience, failing, starting over, and finally making the decision to keep going.
Birthdays used to feel like a daunting countdown. A reminder of time passing. But now I see them differently. They’re not just benchmarks– they’re opportunities to pause, reflect, let go of what no longer serves us, and make space for what’s next.
As I stare back at the woman in the mirror– officially 35– I see someone I’m really proud of. And I hope, wherever you are, you see someone worth celebrating too.